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How to Be Charming #atozchallenge
Wednesday, April 3, 2013 at 5:30AM 
As conventional wisdom would have it – you’ll catch more flies with honey than you would with vinegar. Anyone who eats biscuits or drinks tea, however, knows that honey is too expensive to be trying to use it for the collection of insects. I know the fly and honey thing are mere symbols used to teach us the importance of being kind to people for the purpose of making friends or getting a job or whatever it is we want – but let’s be real here – people want more out of life than bugs and condiments, or friends and kindness.
We want acknowledgement, respect, advancement, best friends, fans, followers, lovers, adventure, children, VIP treatment, first-class seats and other stuff. We want to (as Kanye West would say) live the good life, which requires additional skills and effort than just simply being nice. The good news is that you can increase your chances of having a life well lived by adding or maintaining some level of charisma when interacting with other people.
The famous line “You had me at hello” from the romantic comedy “Jerry Maguire” was the result of one person attracting another with charm. That is where all of the magic happens: Charm can get you far in life. It’s what got one of my relatives out of a traffic ticket and it’s what keeps George Clooney on my grandmother’s list of favorite actors. Honey gets you a jar full of insects. Just as kindness can be a learned trait, so can charisma. With that in mind, here are some tips and tricks for those of you who have the kindness down to a science and want to kick things up a notch by being charming.
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Teach someone to spit like a man and then go dancing with him or her, the way Jack does in “Titanic”
Play a musical instrument for someone while singing songs, like Dean does in “Blue Valentine.”
Teach someone how to listen to birds humming, the way Ray does in “Ray.”
Book a night for two at a themed hotel suite and bring your own booze, like Dean does in “Blue Valentine.”
Give someone the hard-to-find music album that he or she was searching for, the way Darius does in “Love Jones”
Show someone a fun way to eat off of the floor, like Polly does in “Along Came Polly”
Dance with a strange creature and then give it a head start advantage on making the most important thing ever, the way main creature does in "The Maker"
Liberate someone by stabbing their throw pillows like Polly does in “Along Came Polly”
Create or designate a special song that is just for you and a particular person, the way Dean and Cindy do in "Blue Valentine"
Reassure a suicide victim on how to be loved the right way, like the Man did in "Hello Caller"
Inspire someone to let go of their inhibitions and learn salsa dancing, the way Polly does in “Along Came Polly”
What other ways to be charming would YOU add to this list?
Can YOU describe a time when being charming worked in your favor?
Who is the most charming person YOU know?
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Reader Comments (21)
Hmmm, the most charming person I know would have to be, hmmm, my brother. He's pretty charming when he wants to be. I've seen him in action when a lady is involved.
Dani @ Entertaining Interests
#warriorminion
Can't think of any specific charming person at the moment, but I know it's usually better to be nice. People tend to somewhat mirror the attitudes of a person they are encountering. Customer service helped me learned to put a nice face on to calm an irate party.
Being real and caring about others because we can, not because we have to...This is such an inspiring post, NIcole. We take away so much from movies. They often set the tone for many of our behaviors. That's why it's imperative to choose wisely and watch with purpose. Really enjoying your A - Z work. Very cool:)
i thought i was charming... my wife says it's creepy...
Love your comparison about the honey - great point. And very good point about charm, too. Sometimes it's just the little and/or spontaneous things. It doesn't have to be typical to be charming.
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Look like George Clooney. ;) Great list of surprisingly charming traits Nicole.
Hello! The ability to be charming is a good trait to have. But romantic and friendly charm, like a lot of the examples you included, is what you should strive for rather than the sly kind of charm!
Happy A to Z-ing! from Laura Marcella @ Wavy Lines
Adam Sandler singing I Wanna Grow Old With You from the movie The Wedding Singer. That was dead cute.
Being really present with people - looking them in the eye, giving them your full attention, so they feel like the only person in the room. Ignoring the cell phone ringing when you are talking to someone. George Clooney and Cary Grant are in a league of their own when it comes to charm - that special quality of being gorgeous without seeming to know it and to be able to laugh at themselves.
I find playfulness quite charming. I love it when people don't take themselves too seriously, and are willing to joke about things.
Happy day 3 of the A to Z challenge to ya!
~Tui Snider
@mentalmosaic
www.mentalmosaic.com/blog
That line, "You had me at hello." I like everyone else swooned when I first saw the movie. Jerry MacGuire is one of my favorite movies more for the Ron Washington character, but I can't watch Jerry deliver that line.I mute it. It is to much. I don't know why. I can't do it. I guess, the first time, sigh, more then once, cheese.
Charming is all about the way the person makes you feel. It starts with them making you feel good about you but it translates into you feeling good about them.
BTW...day 3 and really enjoying A to Z!
http://dgwordworks.wordpress.com/
The most charming person I know is my husband John. He truly did have me at hello. A close second would be my very own cult of 13 grandchildren. They were each and everyone born charming and they know just when to turn it on.
Hmmm...I usually just smile a lot and that usually works for me.
Hi there! I love your post!
my blog: morgankatz505.blogspot.com
As you'll know from working with me, Nicole, I'm not the most charming person around-- grumpy is more like it. I could use some tips.
Damyanti@Amlokiblogs
Co-host, A to Z Challenge 2013
Twitter: @AprilA2Z
#atozchallenge
Some great examples of charm! George Clooney is kind of hard to beat in that department though! ;)
Whenever I try to be charming, it somehow comes off as snarky. So, I don't try anymore :) Interesting post. The most charming person I know? Babies! LOL
This is one of those posts that made me all go all woozy recalling all those wonderful moments in film.... sigh. I mean, you had me at George Clooney (the pic at the top)... sigh (again). I heart movies with moments like these.
So, who is the most charming person I know? Hm, gosh, that's actually quite difficult considering I have a darling husband, brother and dad but none could be described as charming (sorry guys I love you to bits, but charming? lol)
I have a pal who is an actor... I guess he would probably fit the bill. He can be charming when he wants to be! Well, he can 'act' charming when he wants to!
(popping over from AtoZ)
http://suzyturner.blogspot.com
What a great list.
I saw a lot of those scenes you mentioned and they're so basic aren't they.
A little bit of honesty and a bit of effort and things can change :)
h heck, charm always works! It's the old catch more fllies with honey thing going on. :)
My brother charms the girls, although he can be crass at times -- but maybe women find that even more charming! That's what it seems like anyway. Well, I shouldn't just say crass, because he's crass in a funny way. He's crass for the purpose of making something funny.