Victim Playing Characters. Which One are YOU?

'V' is for Victim, specifically Playing the Victim and/or Self-Victimization and how you can use movies to diagnose your own problem AND find inspiration to make improvements.

A conversation I had yesterday.......well, argument actually with a relative recently helped me to overcome my slight writer’s block for today’s A to Z Challenge letter. One of my pet peeves are playing victim or blaming other individuals or groups of people for problems, circumstances or difficulties to do better.

The thing is, we all probably do it at one time or another throughout life. I know I’ve done it but I am grateful that I at least acknowledge this behavior and have the ability to be conscious of it so that I can make sure to try and not repeat it in the future. I wish the same applied to more men and women, especially in underprivileged circumstances in this country and around the world. There are some movie characters with parallels to different types of victimized behavior or lack thereof that people practice in real life.

Non-Victims
Some people can become victims if they choose to be one by letting circumstances get the best of them. However, they instead turn their obstacles into opportunities. Even though successes were made during a point when some of these movie characters had nothing to lose, their behavior and perspectives still remain a good example of not feeling sorry for oneself.

“The Pursuit of Happyness”
(Yes, I know this movie is based on a real-life story but let’s just stick with the movie...okay)
Will Smith’s character Chris Gardner became homeless after a bad investment left him with no money. He could have blamed his mean wife for leaving him and their son when times got rough. He could have blamed his son for being a financial burden. He could have blamed the company that made the product that he invested in for not offering more sales support. He could have blamed God. Instead, he got himself and son into a shelter and then worked on making some money to improve his situation.

“The Full Monty”
Unemployment is no joke. I’m sure that many of us know quite a few people who have experienced it or are currently experiencing it without any job prospects. In this movie, a group off manual laborers have been out of work since their plant closed down. Bills are piling up, custody battles are in play and depression is on the rise among “The Full Monty” movie characters. Among the group of men is a rather enterprising individual who decides to take advantage of a service that he notices is in-demand and capitalize on it with the help of his former co-workers to make money. The plan brings them some unwanted fame and insecurities but guys in “The Full Monty” at least find a way to overcome their self-pity after realizing that playing victim does not help the situation.

“Million Dollar Baby”
A little ol’ low paid waitress named Maggie living in a dump convinces a boxing trainer whose motto is “I don’t train girls” to help her become a World Champion. Hard work, a positive attitude, talent and determination helped this movie character transform herself into something great, even when her family still criticized and belittled her. She could have blamed her father for dying. She could have blamed her mother and siblings for being what many deem as poor “white trash.” She could have blamed her job for not paying her enough to help her achieve her dreams. Instead, Hilary Swank’s Maggie saved her pennies, spent her waking moments in the gym when she wasn’t at work and appreciated the opportunities that came her way.

This is not to say that there are no victims. In fact, here are characters that could use the victim card and would be justified in doing so because they are indeed Victims. The interesting lesson to learn from each of these particular characters though is that they still persevered.....even when they could have easily just sat back and blamed others for their troubles:

Real Victims

“Men of Honor”
Blatant racism....the kind that spits at your feet as you walk pass, like what Carl Brashear experienced in Men of Honor......can surely make someone a victim. This movie character was threatened, abused, his efforts sabotaged and his most cherished family memento smashed into pieces. He had a reason to play victim because he was, in fact, a victim. Carl Brashear still fought his way through the obstacles, all without so much as a single complaint. If you met him on the street in this movie without knowing what he was going through, you would have probably never guessed that he endured what he did in the Navy training.....that’s how well he ignored his victim status and this says a lot about his character.

Self-Proclaimed Victims Playing Victim to Justify Bad Behavior

“Set It Off”
Some of the main characters in this movie do get dealt a bad deck of cards.....but at least they have a job. That is a lot more than the characters in “The Pursuit of Happyness” and “The Full Monty” had, and still.....the main characters in “Set It Off” claim that the “system is fucking us all anyway” so after experiencing a strong of terrible events including unfair bias or judgement, wrongful death by cop and child welfare battles, they set out to rob banks in order to uplift their circumstances.

While their experiences could be similar to those in the non-victim category, the difference is that these “Set It Off” characters brought a lot of their problems on themselves and also chose to stay in the victim category, thus, playing victim for as long as they can milk the title. Being down on one’s luck or not being able to get through due to the “system” (by the way, what in the world is... or... who in the world is ‘the system’...can somebody let me know?) is used as a justification for breaking the law, stealing and putting other people in danger....all which is bad behavior.

Here is a news flash: You’re no longer the victim if you start joining the ranks of the very people who you claim are bringing you down....nor are you the victim if you become a criminal because you feel like that is the only alternative to living down and out since “the system” is keeping you down...the people who are harmed, whether directly or indirectly by your actions become the victim...NOT YOU!

Now, I’m not talking about simple circumstances here such as if someone vandalizes your property or steals something from you.......in these cases, YES, there is a clear victim and the thief or vandal should have consequences determined by the police (the police who are not corrupt, of course) and judicial system (the portion that is not corrupt).....hopefully that includes time in jail.

With that out of the way, I’m talking about circumstances where people blame other individuals or the rich or a group of people or “the system” (whatever the hell that is....REALLY.....can someone tell me what the hell is The System?) or the church or the white man, black man, chinese man, mexican man or foreign man or kids or aliens or Government (I know this one is reaching...since government can be blamed for what they mess up, but you get the gist of it) or nature or animals or the sun or the moon or the zodiac signs, etc. etc. etc.

Playing victim and blaming others for problems that are clearly our own doing does not make those who we place the blame on, the bad guy. We’re still at fault for the problems that we bring on ourselves and until YOU (yes, I’m talking to you....whoever you are...if this message resonates with you) realize that and take accountability for what you do not have or what you do not like....you are still going to be in and remain in the same damn circumstance, and that is no one’s fault. You and ONLY you can change that!

After comparing these different movie characters and their Victim status roles, which one do YOU relate to?

Have you been in multiple victim roles?

How can those who are Set in their "Victim" ways be convinced to change their way of thinking?

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Sex, Lies and Videotape!

Today’s ‘S’ post for the A to Z Challenge involves a short list of movies that are each centered on three different areas of life in general and the moviemaking business. How do we deal with sex, lies and videotape in our society? There may be many different answers to this question but some films have dealt with the matter head-on in a powerful way that could make or break these three things.

9½ Weeks
Folks in Hollywood are no stranger to the phrase “sleep your way to the top” because just when you thought the casting couch was soooo 80s and beyond, actresses including Megan Fox remind us that sex....or at least the pursuit of it, is alive and well among some of the top directors and producers strolling down the red carpet. Adrian Lyne’s “9½ Weeks” starring Kim Basinger doesn’t beat around the bush when it comes to one of life’s many pleasures. This movie puts the ‘S’ in sex for lovers of cinema and erotica.

The Invention of Lying
Forget everything you were told during your childhood about the boy who cried wolf. Telling lies are bad in real life but Ricky Gervais found out that the truth may get you nowhere, at least in the movies. “The Invention of Lying” has a funny way of showing how people may prefer lies rather than the truth no matter what circumstances they are in. This epiphany is what made Gervais’s character rich and famous in this movie. It can also be viewed as a reminder that everyone does not always tell the truth so never doubt that someone could be lying to you.

Capturing the Friedmans
Remember those twin babies that were all the buzz not too long ago with their baby talk? Yeah, home movies can be a drag and silly depictions of uninteresting moments in life but imagine what would happen if you’re recording a birthday party that leads to situations that are much sticker than cake and ice cream. Andrew Jarecki found a way to turn home movies, photos and new video footage into a dramatic and shocking roller-coaster that depicts a dysfunctional family turned upside down when accusations of horrible crimes emerge.

Watching this movie may cause you to think twice about dismissing the use of home videos as an amateur hobby. "Capturing the Friedmans" makes viewers take home video footage seriously, as certain tapes in this movie become more valuable than ever during a search for evidence, honesty, answers, freedom and support from the community, lawmakers and especially.....the people who matter most in life.

What are YOUR views on Sex, Lies and Videotape:

Is ongoing "9½ Weeks" style SEX ideal for modern day couples?

Should LIES be acceptable to give or receive in some circumstances (um...does this dress make me look fat?) but not others or are they always a no-no?

Will homemade movies with VIDEOTAPE always be in style or have they really become obsolete due to the evolution of digital media recording devices?

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Quotes from Music Tribute Movies to Inspire us All

'Q' is for "Quotes" for this A to Z Challenge post, specifically movie quotes and how they can inspire anyone at any age. While you do not have to watch movies to benefit from the positive impact that good movie quotes can have on your life, some motion pictures are worth viewing multiple times to seek out key moments to reflect on after those end credits start rolling on the television or theater screen. Here are three movies containing movie quotes with ability to transcend time, space and culture.....just like the music that these films are based on.

Ray
“Always remember your promise to me. Never let nobody or nothing turn you into no cripple.”

Watching Ray starring Jamie Foxx made me look at singer Ray Charles differently. While talented, he seemed to have had a troubled personal life and still managed to become one of the music industry’s most legendary singers and pianists. I remember watching him perform in those Pepsi commercials on TV when I was a kid but never really pay attention to his music until the movie was released. The “Ray” quote is particularly inspiring because its meaning can be subject to interpretation.

Ray’s mother wanted to stress the importance of her son standing on his own two feet. However, this quote can also go further to inspire us to not let other people or circumstances get us down. No one or circumstance should have such a negative impact on you allow yourself to be placed in a state of sorrow, fear, self-pity, anger and/or hatred. Such negativity will likely only make matters worse and it costs too much energy, when the same amount of energy can be spent on improving ourselves, our feelings, our habits and/or our circumstances. The “Ray” quote can also inspire us to make sure that we do not allow anything or anyone to get in our way of becoming the best that we can be in life, whether personally or professionally.

What’s Love Got to Do with It
“You Can’t Keep Hiding Black Eyes”

During my childhood, I liked many of the Tina Turner songs that relatives played or sang around the house. It was exciting to be able to go see this movie in the theater when it came out, for what appeared to be a reward for my honor society achievements. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you view it), I did not get to watch the entire movie because my aunt made me cover my eyes on certain parts. Of course, when I got older and obtained a job, “What’s Love Got to Do with It” was among the many titles added to my movie collection.

Having now watched the film in it’s entirety, I’ve come to appreciate Tina Turner more as an international superstar and also appreciate Angela Bassett more because she played the hell out of her role in this movie. The “What’s Love Got to Do with It” quote inspires us to realize that sugarcoating our problems will not change them. Problems can only be fixed when they are addressed directly when, and only when we choose to fix them. Putting a band-aid on some problems will not make them any better, so it is important to find solutions to our troubles that bring positive changes instead of ignoring problems like they don’t exist or worse....denying that there even is a problem in the first place.

Walk the Line
Record Company Executive: “What’s with all of the black, it looks like you’re going to a funeral"
Johnny Cash (played by Joaquin Phoenix): “maybe I am”

Prior to watching this movie, I had no interest in Johnny Cash or his music whatsoever. I knew that he was a famous musician but that was the extent of my knowledge about him.
The “Walk the Line” quote is inspirational because it challenges us to be courageous in the pursuit of goals that we believe in or are passionate about, even when others around us are critical or judgemental. He risked being persecuted for performing his new music at a prison, knowing that this decision would not come without backlash from the outside community, especially his religious fans.

The possibility of Johnny Cash’s performance at the prison not being received well was very prevalent but this did not stop him.....he went and performed anyway, on his own terms. Many of these important lessons can be learned from Walk the Line, because great accomplishments can be made if we make sure not to worry too much about how other people may react to what we choose to do in our lives.

The next movie I plan on watching is “I’m Not There,” based on singer Bob Dylan. If there are any movie quotes that are of interest in this film, I plan on adding at least one of them to this list.

This post is dedicated to Alana over at Writercize

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