How to Dodge those Douchebags at the Movie Theater

Your movie going experience doesn't have to be a nightmare.

The first time I recall hearing term “Douchebag” was during a conversation with some Penn State University students. Shout out to the Nittany Lions! Anyway, I understand that it usually describes rude men who are acting like tools. Whatever the case may be, today I’m gladly deeming those at movie theaters whose mothers didn’t teach them any home training, as well as folks who are just downright jerks, equal opportunity recipients of the this title. Yes, that means it refers to everyone including women, as no one in this camp is excluded, given their tendency to behave badly at the Cineplex.

To those of you who are growing tired of visiting the movie theater only to regret it because people in some of the seats, or rows, nearby are acting a fool, I understand your plight. To those of you who would rather skip the movies altogether and opt for Redbox, Netflix, Hulu Plus, iTunes, Roku or some other new invention that allows you to see Tom Cruise do his thing in the latest installment of Mission Impossible from the comfort of your living room, I get it. To anyone who bounces back and forth through various forms of media consumption including being selective about the movies you are willing to fork over gas, ticket money and babysitting fees for, I’m with you.

In an attempt to help make our nights out at the movies as enjoyable as they can be, here are some ways to dodge those douchebags that ruin things for everybody else.

Patronize movie theaters that enforce strict policies on behaviors that drive you nuts. If you’re not interesting in being around children then perhaps cinema houses like the Ritz theaters in Pennsylvania -- which have an age requirement prohibiting anyone under six years old to enter -- might be right up your alley. If you can’t stand the way people don’t show courtesy to others when using their cell phones in public, then theaters with some kind of no-texting or no-talking policy such as the Alamo Drafthouse (which also bans late arrivals, among other policies) in Texas, California, Arizona, Missouri, Colorado, and more, could be your favorite go-to spot.

D is for DouchebagsIf our legal system has taught us anything, it’s that order comes from more than just some legislator’s stamp of approval on a bill. Don’t just take signage on the walls of a movie theater as indication that they don’t allow people to act a fool on the premises. Ask around and if possible, go check out a screening yourself just to get a first-hand account on how they roll at that particular location.

Mind the hours and days you visit the multiplex. This should go without saying but the time and day of the week you decide to venture out for a motion picture show will likely determine how pleasant your experience will be or not. If you don’t like being around people who tend to create their own soundtrack to the movie while it’s playing on screen, then steer clear of late night showings and opening weekends. Catch a show during the mid-week and early afternoon hours; even get tickets late morning showtimes if they are available.

If at all possible (as in, the movie you want to see is showing there), select small theater houses over multiplexes. Smaller cinemas can only accommodate one or two screens, which reduce the chances for every Tom, Dick and Harry to show their asses while you’re trying to enjoy your two hours of action. Another upside about smaller theaters is that they tend to attract well-meaning family types who are seeking some much needed relaxation time; as well as film snobs who like to soak in every little detail of a scene so they can critique it later with their friends during Sunday brunch. These folks are serious about their movie-going experience and will not tolerate unnecessary shenanigans, so you’ll have the comfort of knowing you’re in good company.

None of these tips guarantee that you’ll always be able to attend a movie screening that is free of obnoxious people. However, these ideas are a starting point to help you enjoy your night out at the cinema without having to listen to cell phone alerts or screaming babies.

What tricks do YOU have up your sleeve for dodging annoying people at the movie theater?

Who Cries for the Little Children?

Photo courtesy of Alicja ColonI felt for the young Leonardo DiCaprio during those scenes where he longed to escape Robert DeNiro’s cruelty in “This Boys Life.”

Yet, nothing prepared me for the day when I witnessed a guardian yelling, cursing and hitting an adolescent boy who he appears to be walking school.

That was the scene playing out on a city street, one early weekday morning I wish could have ended with the simple press of a “pause” or “stop” button because the events taking place here just didn’t seem right.

Maybe I failed remember that for many children who have starring roles in scenes like these, children who you may never get to know, this kind of story is the norm.

Oh but how could I forget about the time I heard of a mother yanking her daughter around by the hair.

Luckily for this little girl, a close friend of her mother had good timing and was there to intervene.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the first incident, so who knows how many times the scenes starring this beautiful, bright and cheerful little girl I once knew, have played on “repeat.”

Maybe I could stand to learn a lesson from that person who intervened, on how important it is to speak up for the little ones who were cast in awful, heartbreaking roles that they never auditioned for. I can only wonder how many of us heard Derek Luke when he asked who would cry for the little boy, beaten and molested by his foster care parents in “Antoine Fisher,” and yet it seems like we’re not listening when it occurs outside of the movie theater and away from TV screens. 

So I write this today not only because I remember how difficult it was to watch those biographical dramas made famous by Oscar winning actors -- portraying real life experiences of men who were once boys suffering at the hands of the very people who were supposed to protect them from harm; but because I also remember walking down the street that morning and feeling helpless like nothing could be done to defend a young child whose day has already started off on the wrong foot.

I remember being in disbelief when learning that someone I knew had a tendency to lash out at her kid for petty reasons, or maybe no reason at all. Maybe it’s because I also remember not knowing the difference between what falls in the category of discipline and what constitutes abuse.

C is for ChildrenOr maybe it’s because I remember how we’ve all been trained to mind our own business – after all, no one wants trouble. At least, that’s what you learn from spending a lot of time in the cities, where everyone is doing their own thing. Thanks to social and cultural norms that vary from one nation, religion, generation, etc. to another, there has been a dangerous slippery slope that leaves far too many children vulnerable to neglect, violence and death.

I write this today because yes, I came, I saw, I heard, I remember, I’m listening and I too am wondering who cries for all of the little children when the rest of us don’t.

My A-to-Z Challenge post for Letter C is in honor of National Poetry Month and National Child Abuse Prevention Month. 

How to Bounce Back in Life, Like a Boss! The Superwoman Edition

Lilly Singh aka Superwoman on set where she plays a spy named Lana Steele for the #ilovemakeup channel.Lilly Singh is a hero who always puts me in a good mood with her outlook on changing the world. As YouTube’s Superwoman, she uses humor to tackle situations and issues that the average person can relate to such as awkward moments with parents, friendships, having confidence, illness, dating, traveling, racism, goal setting, homophobia, depression and living your dreams.

There are times when I think I’ve lost all hope for humanity and then someone like her shows up.

Watching her work reminds me how we all have the power to make our todays better than our yesterdays, and inspire those around us to be all we can be and treat each other kindly.

So I dedicate today’s blog post to the person who finds themselves at the end of his or her rope and is trying to figure out a way to hang on. Canadian actress Lilly Singh is more than a comic who loves buttery popcorn, Chipotle, “surround sound and the colossal feel of the Cineplex” but thinks 3D glasses are horrendous inventions that were “designed to prevent couples from making out at the movie theater.” She carries with her the message that no experience is too much to handle when you believe in yourself enough to battle this gigantic monster called life with all your might.

Superwoman says no matter how many people watched her videos, all the work that went into making them would be worth it if she could make just one person smile. A lesson that can be gleaned from this is that focusing on others makes it possible for you to literally swoop in and save their day. Another way to look at this can be found in the likelihood that you’ll have a lot less time to be in a funk, because you’re too busy putting out positive energy into the world.

Superwoman says producing sketch comedy videos helped her get out of depression. So it should come as no surprise to anyone else how much laughter can really be the best medicine, especially when you are going through hard times. Listening to a funny joke or watching comedy movies are a quick way to lift your spirits when you’re feeling down in the dumps. If we can find it in ourselves to laugh, then that means some circumstances don’t suck as bad as we think they do.

B is for Bouncing Back and Being a BossSuperwoman says a lack of representation of women in her Punjabi culture, within the new media landscape, is what influenced the themes in her videos. If anything, this tells of the possibilities available when you become a leader rather than a follower. It’s one thing to consume entertainment but it’s a whole other ballgame when you decide to create the images that are being placed in front of the rest of the world.

That takes some balls and can be life changing when other people start coming out of the woodworks because they finally see something, or someone with whom they share similar experiences or viewpoints. The short of this lesson is that if you work to improve the things you don’t like about the media (or the world, for that matter) or introduce things you notice are missing from the space, you’ll make life a little better for other people while also doing the same for yourself.

It takes a willingness to get back up for another around in the boxing ring when life knocks you down, that builds your super powers. This young lady named Lilly Singh aka Superwoman doesn’t hesitate to let everyone know that we can be our own superheroes too.

Can YOU describe a situation, big or small, (illness, road rage, grief, breakup, injury/accident, work/job challenges, lawsuit, etc.) where you had to show those circumstances who’s BOSS?