First love would have to be defined as a first crush, since love is something that I still need to find before writing about it. Thanks to Leonardo DiCaprio, maybe I can move a little closer to having a better understanding of how one should pursue it because I do not think that I know what love is yet, but I believe that I do know what it is not.
*Disclaimer: This is a lengthy post, so grab the popcorn....you've been warned.
My First Crush - Before Learning about Leonardo DiCaprio
In grade school, I had a huge crush on one of the boys at my school who was one grade above mine so he was also older. This crush lasted for six years or more, through high school and beyond despite the fact that I was too scared to tell him at first, so we just became really good friends. However, everyone knew because I surely didn’t hide it while in class, the lunch room, the school yard during recess or in the hallways.
I watched as he started a relationship with a girl who was in the same grade and I later also knew when their relationship ended, yet did not pursue him although I did love him and knew he loved me.....or so, I thought. So, after graduating from high school, I kind of gave up on the idea of us being a couple and started focusing more on my studies. This is when it happened.....he asked me to be his girlfriend (well, not exactly in these particular words, but I’m sure you get the idea) and can you believe this.....I hesitated.
I wasn’t sure if we should be in a relationship since it’s been so long since I tried to get him to notice me but it didn’t take much time for me to agree. Yay! I finally had him. Life couldn’t get any better than this, except for the fact that our relationship quickly took a downturn within less than five months. I ended up breaking up with him, which was the hardest decision for me to make at that time because I did love him but us as a couple was not working.
While I was young, I am glad that I was at least old enough or wise enough, or whatever, to realize that the relationship was toxic. Unfortunately, the end of our relationship eventually became the end of our friendship, or at least the type of friendship that we had before becoming a couple.
Lesson: Love is not disrespectful, indifferent nor lacking understanding.
My First Introduction to What Love Could be, along with the Release of “Titanic”
In high school, one of the boys in my class liked me and pursued me heavily. He was a very nice and respectful person who also carried my books and such to my next class from time to time, which I now realize is the making of a true gentleman and someone that girls should be looking to date instead of paying attention to all of the jerks, whether in high school or not.
Anyway, we became friends and were fans of the rap group Bone Thugs ‘N’ Harmony so there was always something to talk about but I still never gave him the time of day as far as dating was concerned. When “Titanic” starring Leonardo DiCaprio was released, he hated this movie after watching it in the movie theater and told me that it was long.....too damn long when we were discussing the film in class one day. Still, I liked the movie when I finally got to watch it later on TV or something and today, it is among my favorites.
Watching “Titanic” was also the first time that I became familiar with Leonardo DiCaprio because I didn’t really know who he was prior to the release of this movie. My high school friend and I were eventually going to go to prom together and then that got kind of complicated due to my impatience and moreso, the fact that technology only evolved so much at that time, so we didn’t have as many ways to communicate with others as we do today, in 2011.
After the unsuccessful and heartbreaking ordeal with My First Crush, I realized that I had made a big mistake by not giving a relationship with the high school friend a chance. Unfortunately, it was too late. After high school, my friend went away for work and although we had long-distance phone conversations and wrote letters to each other, we were in different states and at different points in our lives while also being around other people. He became engaged and then the engagement ended a while later.
We eventually started to discuss the possibility of us being together when he returned home and even getting married in the future but none of this came to fruition upon his return. Call it timing, call it fate or call it something else....no matter what the reason was or is, he and I never became a couple. Now, the fact that I was in a relationship around the time that he eventually came home is a factor but not the only factor.
In fact, blogging about our history and hits and misses between each other will cause this post to be longer than it already is, so I’m stopping now. The bottom line is that my interactions with him taught me a lot about how females should be treated and what respect looks like and even a preview of what love may sorta look like but sometimes people change or feelings change and sometimes, two people are just not meant to be together so it is best to want happiness for one another, even if that means that this happiness will not be between these two parties and it’s also best to hope that the other person does find the love that he or she deserves. I also can't help but wonder if us not dating means that there was never really any love there in the first place or "true love," whatever that means.
Lesson: Love is never lost or abandoned without finding out what could be.
My First Realization that Leonardo DiCaprio may have the Answer to the Question of How to Find Real Love
While reading about Leonardo DiCaprio’s life and film career, I found out that he took a two-year hiatus from the big screen after starring in “The Beach,” which did not do very well at the box office or receive a favorable response from critics and garnered DiCaprio a Razzie Award nomination. Upon his return to the big screen, DiCaprio brought us “Gangs of New York” and “Catch Me if You Can,” which were both well received and box office successes worldwide. According to People, this actor’s choices for which movies he works on are no accident and why he has continued to do so well post-Beach.
"I've been extremely careful about the work that I get involved in nowadays" - Leonardo DiCaprio
My Translation: Leave all of the grade school, high school and possibly even college BS behind.....know what we want when it comes to love and relationships and be more diligent in obtaining it, by maintaining standards regarding the quality of mates that we choose which means moving on if love is not present. Therefore, if love (DiCaprio speak: a successful career, or whatever he was referring to when talking to People Magazine) is the goal, then choose mates (DiCaprio speak: work) that help us meet that goal.
Lesson: Love is great when you can identify it. Love is to be taken seriously and handled with care because when you find it, it can be the best thing that you ever experienced and it can also lead you to achieve great things (read: happiness, purpose and passion).
The biggest lesson of all is that when it comes to Love, there is no waiting for the right time or trying to force it to happen the way you imagined it or want it to be. Love makes you feel like you can fly, like it's straight out of a scene from "Titanic."
This weekend, I’ve been enjoying “All the Boys” by Keri Hilson and this song is so fitting for the latest Group Blogging Experience topic. Here it is for you all to enjoy!
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